DORMA EPPLEY HYDOCK

On November 2 of this year my youngest sister, Dorma Eppley Hydock, died at Fairview Hospital after suffering for at least ten years with Alzheimer’s disease.

In the photo Dorma is holding a Plain Dealer newspaper, the paper she delivered to patients at Fairview Hospital for 32 years. With income from that job and her job at St. Joseph Academy she was able to help her youngest son David earn a degree from John Carroll University.

Instead of writing about my memories of Dorma, which would fill a book, I asked my niece Kathy to allow me to use a slightly abridged version of the excellent eulogy she delivered at Dorma’s funeral Mass:

DORMA EPPLEY HYDOCK
DECEMBER 16, 1928 – NOVEMBER 2, 2010
By Kathy Hydock
November 5, 2010

Thank you all for being here today. On behalf of John & Norma, Bill, Patty and Shannon, Anne and Jacki, Clare, and Dave and Jessica, we appreciate your presence, love and support. It means a great deal to all of us.

Allow me to talk about our mother—my huggable teddy bear as I called her.
Dorma lived her entire life in Our Lady of Angels Parish. She was born in her family home on Lucille Avenue, moved to Little Ernadale after marrying our father, and lived in our current home on Dartmouth since 1964. Dorma graduated from OLA, St. Joseph Academy and St. Mary of the Springs in Columbus.

Dorma was baptized, made her First Communion and was confirmed in this church. She married our father here and now we are here today to celebrate her life. All of us kids were baptized at OLA by our uncle, George Eppley, and we all graduated from OLA. Dorma truly loved OLA and her great friends and neighbors. Mom belonged to the Women’s Guild and bowled for 35 years at Westgate Lanes with Mary Ann Daum, Lillian Salwan, Ruth Peyton and Barb Gibbons and they won many bowling championships. Not only were they winners in bowling, but they gambled on the NCAA basketball tournaments, and to the shock and amazement of many male patrons, their teams won 2 straight basketball championships at Jerry’s Place, their bowling sponsor!

Another group of Mom’s close girlfriends from high school were her "club" friends—Colette McQuade, Doris Haney, Jo Fiske and Pat Keller. These gals would meet for fun and laughs every weekend or month over the past 60 years; it was their night out and they enjoyed themselves immensely. We kids always wondered about this "club"—did they have a secret handshake or code word to join?! They remain close friends to this day.

Dorma was a very strong woman—after our father passed away in 1973, Mom was there for all six of us. She was truly the matriarch of our family and would do everything to make sure we succeeded in school and life. She was tough and strong-tongued—Dave lovingly nicknamed Mom "Dormzilla"! Mom may have been tough, but she showed her love in many ways.

After college Mom worked for a while at East Ohio Gas Company before marrying and having kids. After dad’s death, Mom began her career as the Plain Dealer Lady at Fairview Hospital in January 1971. Mom truly loved this job; she was so thankful when she came home every morning that her kids were healthy. She witnessed many births and deaths at Fairview, and there probably isn’t anyone in this church who didn’t receive a paper at one time or another when they were patients there! In fact, Mom gave away more free papers, paying for them out of her own pocket. Mom didn’t care about the money or a profit; if a patient wanted a paper and didn’t leave the money on their bedside, she still left a paper. On the weekends we helped Mom deliver papers to patients; a bit daunting and scary but we realized why she loved her job. It was the patients, nurses, doctors and caregivers that mattered most to her, not the money.

On several occasions, the Plain Dealer wanted to recognize Mom as their "Honor Carrier of the Week," publishing her picture and an article in the paper, and each time Mom turned them down. She didn’t want or need the attention or self-promotion; her only gratification came from her genuine concern for the patients and their well-being. To her credit, Dorma retired from the Plain Dealer in March 2003 after 32 dedicated years.

During my sophomore year at St. Joe’s Academy, Dorma began working in the cafeteria as Assistant Manager. She loved it since Anne, Clare and I were all students at the same time. It was a great job for Mom since she majored in Home Economics at college. However, whenever I got caught riding the elevator, or throwing wet toilet paper that stuck to the bathroom ceilings, the principal didn’t have to go far to report my misdeeds to Dorma—she just walked to the cafeteria and ratted me out! Of course, I heard about my misdeeds when I got home and got grounded! I don’t know where Mom got her energy, but she remained at St. Joe’s until 1986 while still delivering newspapers. Mom never complained about how tired she was from working two jobs—she wanted to provide for us and she did just that.

Mom had to be the "Mom and Dad" to us. She was a tough disciplinarian but had a soft heart.

Even though Mom enjoyed her retirement from the Plain Dealer and St. Joe’s and joining the Gene’s Place breakfast club every morning, she discovered another purpose later in her life—something besides the daily lottery which she played religiously!

After some prodding, we convinced Dorma to attend Age Line Senior Activity Center following the advice of her doctor. I say "convinced" since Mom reluctantly agreed to visit Age Line at first. After that initial visit in October 2007, Dorma agreed to go—after I told her she was a "volunteer" and they needed her help. (I apologize, God—it really was a little white lie!)

After Dorma’s first month at Age Line, we received the first bill and Mom asked me with glee: "Is that my paycheck?!?" Trying to contain my laughter, I had to remind Mom that she was a "volunteer" and she didn’t get paid—it was the Christian thing to do! (again, God, I apologize!)

Mom would always say to me, "Oh Kathy, there are so many people there who need my help!" She meant it with earnest and genuine compassion—so very sweet!

I cannot say enough about Age Line, Mom’s home-away-from home these last 3 years. Between Dr. Pearce, Norma, Karen, Bev and all the wonderful, caring providers (too many to mention and I don’t want to miss anyone!), Dorma and I made many close friends. You are more than friends—you are extended family. Each one of the providers truly loved Miss Dorma—as she was affectionately called. I believe Bev Ruebensaal, the scheduler, had a "Dorma pick-up pool" each morning to avoid any in-fighting among the drivers about who got to pick up Mom every day! Regardless, whoever picked up Mom made her feel special and loved and brought a huge smile to her face when they arrived! And Andy Knable brought an especially big smile to Miss Dorma’s face too—he was a fellow rider in Mom’s van and every morning would say to Miss Dorma, "good morning beautiful!" I personally witnessed Mom’s big smile on many occasions when Andy welcomed her into the van with his warm welcome!!

I know we will all miss Mom very much, and I will especially miss our nightly routine of watching TV together on her bed—just huggin’, cuddlin’ and talkin.’ I treasured these special times with Mom and as I told her every night, "this is a perfect way to end our day" and Mom’s response every night would be "and how!"

Along with my siblings and nieces, George and Anita, and many, many cousins, we will miss you Mom, but know you’re in Heaven with Dad, your sisters Marcella and Arleen, your niece Arleen and your parents.

Sleep well my huggable teddy bear!!

Posted November 18, 2010

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